Admiral May I?
by jehc
Summary: Janeway will always protect her crew.  Just a little story about life back home. It goes along with Finally the Truth and Tunnel.  Not really sequals just a group of like stand alone stories


"Damn it Commander, I don't really care how you feel about it. You ignored a standing order." Admiral Kathryn Janeway was clearly agitated. The officer at her side either didn't care or was just thick headed. "None of the former Voyager crew are to be assigned off world without my authorization." She gave the younger man her patented death glare. "Are we clear?"

"Yes Admiral, no Voyagers off world with out your say so." Janeway arched her eyebrow at his usage of the media nick name for the members of her former crew. She put her hand on his shoulder. It wasn't a friendly gesture but one designed to make him stop and look her in the eye.

"There are people who want to use Star Fleet and its officers to promote their own agenda. Some of these people have a grudge of one kind or another and take advantage of opportunities to strike out. The former crew of Voyager are finding themselves disproportionately effected by this."

The Commander nodded his head in understanding even though it was clear he did not have a clue.

"My crew will not be a victim of anyone's power struggle. And yes, I said my crew. That is who they are and who they will always be. I will not make their decisions for them but I will make damned sure no one else will make decisions against them."

This time the commander looked at her almost pityingly. Janeway closed her eyes took a deep breath and continued.

"So you are of the mind that I am too attached to them, my crew. Maybe you think I should spend a little time in counseling, learn to separate from them?"

By the look on his face Janeway could tell that the commander seemed to think just that. He wondered if she was having an epiphany about her unhealthy preoccupation with her previous crew. He began to speak. Janeway put up her hand to silence him.

"Before you say anything be aware that only an idiot would agree with that sentiment." She paused and then continued. "After seven years the line between family and crew was completely blurred. Very few ensigns throw up on, bleed on, or cry on the shoulder of their captain. By year three on Voyager every member of the crew had done at least one or more of those things. Very few officers have ever held their Captain while she cried. There are several of mine that can say that they have. Of course they wouldn't say it, but they have."

Commander Patel looked taken aback by the glimpse in to the famous Admiral's personal feelings. He was rather frightened by the death glare that accompanied her words. As an officer who made personnel assignments he was responsible for an order that sent Billy Telfor out on a deep space mission. Billy had tried to decline the mission but was ordered to get on the ship. By the time Janeway found out it was almost too late to bring him back. Too late however is a term for mere mortals. And Kathryn Janeway was no mere mortal.

"I have already explained to Commodore Jameson why his division is being billed for the expense of bringing Mr. Telfor back. I had to put a starship at all stop. I had a shuttle dispensed from said ship to deliver personnel to another star ship sent to intercept. A weeks time, two star ships and a shuttle were required to fix your insubordination. This was no small cost" Commander Patel visibly gulped at the thought, his grip on his briefcase caused his knuckles to turn white. "Dismissed Commander." He left quickly happy to be out of her presence."

Two hours later the chime at her door brought a smile to her face. Ensgin Telfor was on the other side. "Come," she stood as the officer entered her inner sanctum and held out both hands to his as she welcomed him.

"Hello Bill, welcome home…again." He returned her gentile smile with a broad grin.

"Thank you Captain…um Admiral it is good to be back." Kathryn guided him to the couch then walked to the office replicator.

"What can I get you?" she asked. She sounded more like a hostess then a commanding officer.

"What ever you are having will be nice, thanks."

Janeway cocked her eyebrow at him.

"I like coffee," he said his grin getting bigger. Kathryn brought the two drinks and a plate of cookies to the coffee table and sat beside him. She turned to him with a concerned look in her eyes.

"Why didn't you call me?" she asked. "I would never have allowed them to put you on that ship unless you came in to this office and told me you wanted to go."

Billy shrugged "I didn't want you to think I can't take care of myself. I didn't want you to think I was afraid. I grew up so much out there" He looked down at his hands. He couldn't look her in the eye as he continued. "I guess I want you to be proud of me."

She shook her head slowly and put her finger under his chin. She brought his head up so that he had to look her in the eyes. "We all came back harder, stronger, braver then when we left. We have skills that most people should never need. I know you are not afraid." She moved her hand and patted him on his shoulder then placed it in her lap. "We also came back with scars. We left so much out there. Many of our friends and much of our innocence are still in the DQ." She stood up and began to pace.

"Those years with out support, with out families or friends were no picnic. Oh yes, we were on a grand adventure, that's what they say. But they can't know Bill. Even though they were at war it wasn't the same as out there. No one to hail when we were in trouble. The average Ship here did not have as many hostel engagements during the entire war as we did in the first two years. We served our time, there is no shame in believing that."

Billy looked at her and did not see the Admiral that she had become but the Captain that she was. The woman he would have taken phaser fire for. The woman who would have taken phaser fire for him. He smiled.

"Well now that you have me back, what are you going to do with me?" She returned his smile.

"Unless you would like to present me with another idea I am sending you to work with Tom Paris. He is advising Star Fleet on holo-programs based on some of our experiences both good and bad. I have a feeling every ship in the fleet will have their own Sandrine's by the time he is done. Some of his work will be recreational and some training. He is creating some simulations for the academy. Any interest?"

Billy stood up in delight. "Yes ma'am!" The he looked at her a little hesitantly. Janeway cocked her head to one side in question. "While I appreciate the grown up title admiral, people still call me Billy and I guess I like it that way."

Janeway nodded, "I also appreciate my new title. But I was Captain for so long. My mother has to say Kathryn three times before I realize she is talking to me. My sister calls me Captain Kathryn. She believes if I hear that enough I will respond to Kathryn eventually."

Billy chuckled. "Maybe you should also get people to call you Captain Admiral so you could get used to that as well. I am sure Admirals Parris and Neichev would understand." He began to move to the door.

"I am sure I will be seeing you around Billy. Report to the academy the first of next week."

He nodded with a broad grin on his face "Aye Captain." He actually gave her a shy wink and headed out the door . He walked with a much lighter step then when he came in.

As Kathryn watched him leave she wondered about her impulse. Would she be able to maintain respect and order if she dropped the mask with more of her former crew. Then she chuckled, "get over yourself Kathryn. You are a Starfleet admiral, all of Starfleet. Letting a few people in, even one hundred fifty people, wont bring down the federation!" She shook her head in amusement and sat back at her desk to finish the days work.

Kathryn arrived at head quarters early and as she got off the elevator she was happy to see her new assistant already at her desk. "Good Morning Sam, getting settled ok?"

Lt Samantha Wildman looked up with a smile. "Yes Admiral. The way things are organized seems pretty easy to understand. Lt Thompson is going to stop by in a wile to go over the specifics." Sam looked up at the Admiral with a grin. "He is worried that I may be intimidated. He seems to believe you are quite demanding."

Janeway raised her eyebrows. "Really? are you intimidated? Do you think I will be demanding?"

Sam's grin got even bigger. "Intimidated, no. Demanding, well I was on Voyager ."

"Oh I see, you think our relationship on Voyager may temper my demands?"

Sam out right laughed. "No but it does give me some insights that others wouldn't have had."

"Prey tell." The Admiral said in a dry voice

"The way I see it is pretty clear. There is all the usual stuff, follow orders arrange appointments and meetings so they don't conflict and keep peace in the office. But the important stuff goes like this. Give the Nelix's of the world short appointments. Frisk the Parris's for contraband before they go in. Make sure the Torres's have all the time they need and keep the Haran's out all together."

Janeway shook her head and rolled her eyes in amusement.

"I'll start the morning making sure the replicator is making the coffee hot. And if you get really upset with me I pull out the big guns."

Janeway's head cocked in question.

"I'll just stand behind Naomi!"

Janeway barked out a short laugh. "It sounds like you have it right except for a few things." She held up a finger. "Be careful of frisking the wrong Parris. I don't think Owen will co-operate. On a more serious note there are some Videans out there. If you find one call for help immediately. And NEVER send a crewman away with out hailing me, no matter what." The fact that she was referring to the Voyager crew didn't need to be stated.

Sam knew the conversation was over and moved towards her desk. "Thank you Admiral. The replicator status is a go."

Janeway walked in to her office knowing she had made the right choice in assistant.

Two hours and 16 reports letter her door chimed. Knowing Sam is screening visitors Janeway felt comfortable allowing entry "Come"

Only her years of experience kept the shock off Kathryn's face as she watched her visitor come through the door. She stood as she prepared to great her former crewmate and one time friend.

"Seven, hello. It is good to see you." She held out her hand in welcome. It seemed for a moment that Seven was going to ignore the proffered hand but after a pause she reached out and shook it. Seven looked amazing. Janeway had never seen her in a Starfleet uniform and the blue on her shoulders seemed to make her eyes twice as bright.

Janeway had only seen Seven once since Voyager's return. It was at her promotion. The whole crew was in attendance. Seven left shortly after the party began with out even speaking to the newly promoted Admiral. Based on the cold response to her welcome Janeway knew this visit was not for building bridges. She moved back to her desk and motioned for Seven to sit in the chair across from her. Reluctantly Seven sat.

"How may I help you Seven?"

Seven's voice was cold. It reminded Janeway of those first few months that Seven was on board Voyager.

"It seems, Admiral, that my ability to choose my assignments is being curtailed on your orders. I was preparing to move in to my new quarters on the Prometheus and was prevented from doing so. Commander Patel informed me that with out your personal authorization I can not go off world."

"I see, and you would like to take a deep space mission?"

"Obviously, or I would not be here. What exactly must I do to receive your authorization, Sir." Knowing that Seven was aware of her aversion to that particular bit of protocol Janeway was offended by its use. She was also aware that it was Seven's intent that she be so.

"All you have to do is look me in the eyes and say that it is what you want. Tell me that you aren't being bullied or coerced and you will have my authorization." Seven was practically seathing when she replied.

"So it is like the game Tom Parris' played with Noemi, 'Mother May I'? This is a complete waste of my time and I am surprised you indulge your self in this way."

Admiral Janeway winced at the tone and the reference to her as mother.

"I will play along." Seven looked at Janeway with steely eyes and a hard face. "Admiral Janeway," she used the same tone and rhythm that Tom and Noemi used in the game. "May I go on a mission in space."

Janeway's face was equally hard as she replied in kind. "Yes you may." She held out her hand for Seven's orders and put her thumb print on the pad.

"Well it is nice that Commander Patel took my orders to heart. Tell me Seven. How much of your precious time are you willing to spare to protect Noemi Wildman?"

"I do not see the relevance of this question. You already know that I would give all my time, even my life to protect her. Any of us would."

"Are you aware that Commander Patel had ordered her mother on a star ship. Even when she tried to refuse, he ordered her on board with or with out Noemi." Sevens face changed from disdain to anger.

Janeway put her hand to her head as she remembered the near miss. The Admiral had a new office assistant that didn't seem to get the complete access for Voyagers rule. Noemi Wildman had come in to her office and was refused entry. Ensign Smithfield wouldn't even hail the Admiral. She was in an important meeting the ensign felt she shouldn't be disturbed. It was just lucky for everyone that Lt Thompson passed the young woman in the hallway as she was on her way out.

Seeing that the girl was clearly upset he approached her. "Hey there Sunshine why the sad face?" He could tell that Naomi was holding back tears with difficulty.

"I wanted to see the Admiral to say good bye, but she was busy"

"Good bye? Where are you going?"

Naomi was shaking with the effort not to cry. "Mom was assigned to the new delta class ship. We are leaving tomorrow and we have to be on board in another hour." Lt Thompson's eyes were wide with shock.

"There sending you back out there and the Admiral wouldn't see you?"

Naomi shrugged. " She is in an important meeting. Ensign Smithfield took a message and will give it to her." She brushed a tear from her cheek as she took a few deep breaths. At this point she was barely able to contain her sobs.

Lt. Thompson took her hand and led her back to the Admiral's office. "Ensign, Ms Wildman would like to speak with Admiral Janeway."

"Yes Lt. She was here a few minutes ago. The Admiral is in an important meeting and asked not to be disturbed."

He shook his head in disgust. "I believe that when I trained you for this job I told you about the standing orders for this situation."

The ensign rolled her eyes. "She is a kid and Admirals Neichve and Parris are with Admiral Janeway now."

With a big sigh the Lt hit his combadge. "Thompson to Admiral Janeway."

The Admirals' voice came over the com. "Yes. Lt?"

"Naomi Wildman is here to see you Ma'am."

"Oh lovely. I will be done here in about an hour. Would she like to meet me for lunch."

"Actually she doesn't have that much time and she has a rather urgent need to see you."

There was a few moments of silence. The Admiral's door opened and the other two admirals walked out chuckling. "Well I guess we know where we stand Alana." Admiral Parris said. "She is all yours Miss Wildman."

Janeway appeared in her doorway and was almost knocked over by her young friend. Naomi threw herself sobbing in to her idol's arms. Looking for comfort from her friend made rank irrelevant. "Captain I don't want to go." Every thing else was incoherent as the young woman tried to speak and cry at the same time. Janeway wrapped her arms around Naomi and gently led her into her office.

Lt Thompson looked over at Ensign Smithfield. He could see that she understood the magnitude of her mistake. "Don't worry she's not going to phaser you. But I guarantee you will have a new assignment tomorrow. You better start cleaning out your desk." He turned and began to pull information from the closest work station.

Admiral Janeway sat down on her office couch still holding Naomi. "What do you mean you don't want to go? Where are you going?"

"Mom has been assigned to the Delta One. She told Commander Patel that she didn't was to go. She asked for another assignment but he said no. We leave tomorrow." Naomi's sobs were turning to sniffles. She felt safe. She knew her Captain would fix things. The Captain always fixed things.

When she spoke Naomi heard the voice of the angry Capitan Janeway not the affable Admiral that people in the Alpha Quadrant had grown to admire. No this was the voice that the Kazon, the Borg and anyone else who threatened her crew would hear. "Who is Captain of the Delta." She asked Lt. Thompson over the com. Hearing her voice he was glad it wasn't him.

"Francis Ma'am. Captain Francis."

"Thank you Lt. could you get him on the line for me?"

"right away"

It did not go unnoticed that she didn't ask Ensign Smithfield. Captain Francis was put through to her immediately.

"Hello Captain" Kathryn had reigned in her anger and was speaking in a rather forced but pleasant tone. "It seems that we have a bit of a staffing problem."

Captain Francis cleared his throat nervously. "It seems" she said quietly "that my aide neglected to inform me of the orders for Lt Samantha Wildman to be on your ship. And Commander Patel didn't insure he had my signed authorization before he assigned her to your mission."

"I see Admiral. I am sorry that this happened." the Captain was clearly worried about where this was going, "Is there a problem with the assignment?"

"Yes actually there is. I was counting on the Lt. to work with me. I had planned to tell her about it today. Imagine my surprise when I realized she was about to ship out." She smiled pleasantly at the Captain. "Please have her things removed from the ship. I am sure Commander Patel can find you a replacement quickly." Before the Captain could reply he heard "Janeway out."

"Naomi I need to take care of a few things. But I would really enjoy a visit. Can you meet me back here in an hour for lunch?"

The young girl had gone from tears to smiles. "I am sure Mom will let me." the two friends shared a conspirator grin. Naomi left to get the permission that she knew her mother would not dare refuse.

Janeway called Lt Thompson in to her office. "You are reassigned to me for the next two days. I want you to locate every member of my crew and make sure their postings are appropriate. Samantha Wildman will be my new assistant for the foreseeable future. Get personnel to find a new assignment for Ensign Smithfield. Naomi will be back in an hour for lunch and I want her gone by then."

Having had been Admiral Janeway's assistant for the previous year Thompson had a good idea of what she was going to ask of him. He was finished with most of it before she even called him in to the office.

After she told her tale Janeway looked up to see absolute furry in Seven's eyes.

"Seven our crew is so seasoned, strong and smart that everyone wants to use us. I can't trust people like Commander Patel to look out for our best interest. I have to do it. They aren't Borg, only you."

Seven met Janeway's gaze. "What do you mean by that?"

"No one could make you do something you don't want to do. You would tell them were to shove their pips if they threatened your commission. And if they tried to intimidate you one little look at your tubules and they would wet their pants. But Sam doesn't have any tubules. Her husband left and Starfleet is her life. She got on that ship. She felt she had no choice but for her and Naomi to get on that DAMN SHIP."

Janeway's face was stony as she asked. "So tell me Seven did I waste your time?"

Seven's face softened. "No Kathryn you did not."

Janeway did not let her surprise show at the use of her first name. She had afforded that right to Seven on Voyager before everything fell apart.

Seven continued "I think you have once again shown your resourcefulness in the way you take care of the people you care about. The crew of Voyager is fortunate to be among that number."

As she stood up Seven tilted the pad towards Janeway in acknowledgement of her help. "Thank you Admiral."

Janeway deliberately softened her features. "Admiral? It was Kathryn just a moment ago." Their eyes met.

"Please Seven, we were friends once. Good friends I thought. What happened?"

Seven's face had a guarded look. Not angry almost scared. "You distanced yourself."

Janeway took in her words and closed her eyes briefly. Images passed through he mind. Seven turning down invitations. Seven choosing to sit with others leaving her to eat alone. Maybe she shouldn't have given up so easily but it seemed futile. Seven was young and making other friends for the first time. They wouldn't have been comfortable with Kathryn joining in and Seven didn't seem to want to be alone with her.

"No Seven you did first. You distanced yourself from me." Seven didn't have to close her eyes to know it was true. She had an eidetic memory. it came back all at once. When she regenerated the last conscious thought she had was of Kathryn. In Unimatrix Zero when Axum kissed her it was Kathryn's face she saw. Her thoughts, her emotions, her love were all tied to Kathryn. The futility of it hurt her. Kathryn couldn't want her, the drone. She pushed Kathryn away, tried to replace her. When it didn't work and she wanted to go back it was too late. Janeway was no longer there waiting for her.

Janeway looked up with sad eyes. "You walked away from me." She remembered hoping to speak with Seven at the party. She and Harry got promoted at the same ceremony. The whole crew was there. But before she could reach her Seven was leaving. Janeway could only watch as she walked out the door.

"No Kathryn you walked away from me." Seven remembered waiting at the edge of the crowd as they crew members exited the ship on to the space dock. Soon they would see their family and friends. She hoped for just one word with the Captain. She wanted to part on friendly terms. Kathryn saw her waiting and walked the other way.

Janeway nodded. "You are leaving." She looked pointedly at the pad in the young woman's hand."

Seven took in Kathryn's office. Made a point of doing a full turn and taking it all in. She knew of Kathryn's life. Staying here in her Ivory tower. She was available to those who need her here in this office. But she had no social life. She rarely even visited her family. The only social engagements she had were when her sister or Naomi forced her out for lunch. "You are already gone Kathryn. You've been gone since we got home."

Janeway grimaced in acknowledgement of the sentiment as she watched Seven head for the door. "Seven," the younger woman paused. Janeway walked up to her and held out her hand. Seven took it without hesitation.

"Goodbye Seven."

"Goodbye Kathryn"

As the door closed behind her Seven heard a small high pitched sound. If it were someone else the noise might have gone unnoticed. Seven's Borg enhanced hearing was too acute to miss it. She paused and listened harder. It was definitely a whimper. Seven moved back to the door and actually put her ear against it. Sam watched from her desk but did not interrupt.

As Seven made out the words from the inner office her face broke in to a broad smile. Sam had never seen her so beautiful. Seven reopened the door and heard the admiral repeating to herself, "she is leaving again, and again you didn't tell her you love her." Janeway heard the door open and looked up. Seven saw tears streaming down the Admiral's face. Janeway was to shocked to even try to wipe them away.

Seven walked over an placed her palm against Kathryn's cheek. She used her thumb to wipe away her tears. "You heard me." Janeway said.

"I did" Seven replied.

"I guess you know." Kathryn said.

"Know?" Seven replied

Kathryn closed her eyes for strength. "I love you Seven. I have loved you for years."

Seven waited for Kathryn's eyes to open before she replied. "Yes Kathryn, but I loved you first."

Janeway took a deep shuddering breath "Oh really," The Admiral felt a challenge coming on. A battle of wits that the two women were famous for and reveled in. "How do you know you were first if I haven't told you when?"

Sevens lips twitched a little as if holding back a smile. "So tell me and we shall see."

"It was in the cargo bay," Janeway locked eyes with Seven as she continued. "When you turned to me and said that your favorite color was red. My heart just melted. I wanted to pull you in to my arms and kiss you until the Borg were just a long forgotten memory. God Seven you were so Beautiful. But it was more then that you were strong and smart. I knew you would be wonderful and I was right."

Seven nodded in satisfaction. "As I said, I loved you first."

Janeway looked at her incredulously. "You have got to be kidding."

"No Kathryn I am not." Seven moved in close to the Admaral. She reached out and put a hand on each of the other woman's shoulders. She gently rubbed them as she moved in closer. Janeway felt Seven's breath on her neck the younger woman whispered. "Why do you think the answer was red?"


End file.
